Have you ever had the feeling that someone or something is looking at you while you’re in the kitchen? Creepy eyes following you around as you do the dishes or while you’re cooking up something delicious? Well, you might want to check your potatoes because they may have grown eyes! Before they grow arms and drag themselves to plant themselves in your house plants’ soil, let’s cook em up.

I personally don’t like to eat potatoes that have sit so long that their bodies don’t even touch the counter anymore without drowning out that eyeball flavor in a nice soup or stew. I found this recipe for “Old fashioned vegetable beef stew” and decided to give it a whirl. I already had potatoes, mushrooms, and old-ass red wine (the 2-buck chuck variety). The rest of the ingredients, including all-natural Oregon Country Beef came out to $15 more.

Also, I think crock-pot recipes are great because you chop up some stuff and throw it in the crock-pot in the morning and by dinner time you’ve got enough food for a couple days. Perfect for lazy people! Unfortunately, I had 7 hungry guys come over to my house and they polished it off before I could tupperware any of it.

I also love making black beans with the crock-pot. I’ll probably post another recipe for awesome black beans soon. Fartalicious!

Verdict
Do it!

I really liked this recipe. The prep-time was pretty short. All the chopping took maybe 10 minutes. If you can remember to start the crock-pot early enough, you’ll have a ton of food for dinner with very little work. The cleanup is a breeze: wash your cutting board and knife and then the crock-pot when you’re done. This is also a great way to get rid of that old red wine that’s been sitting corked in your fridge or on your counter for a while.

I give it 4 toilet seats up. (Our rating system explained)

“Dang it! I just bought that cheese 2 weeks ago! How did it already get moldy? I had it in the fridge!”

Does this sound familiar? How about this:

“WTF? These chips are already stale? I hate fucking stale chips!” (Even when you bought them on the clearance rack)

Fret no more. We’ve got a great recipe to put those annoying stale and moldy leftovers to use. It’s called “Zesty” Baked Mac.

Prep Time: 15 min
Bake Time: 20 min
Difficulty: Easy

Ingredients

• 1 block of moldy cheese
• 1 1/2 cup stale chips
• Some kind of macaroni. Don’t be picky
• Splash of milk or soy milk (unflavored)

Preparation

OK, so you’re not sure whether you that moldy cheese is good for you. I did your homework for you and hard cheeses are safe if you cut the mold off. If you’ve got a strong immune system (like you’re from South America or some other diseasy place) and you feel like adding some extra “zesty” to the recipe, don’t cut the mold off. But I don’t condone this (even though I just dared you to do it).

1. Pre-heat oven to 350°
2. Prepare the pasta very al dente. Drain well. If you don’t know how to cook pasta, I’m sorry. While the pasta is cooking, continue to the following steps.
3. Shred your block of cheese. Be your own judge on how much. Use your whole block if you’ve got enough pasta
4. Put the stale chips in a bowl and crush them. I happen to have a meat mallet in my kitchen. Find something blunt and go to town. Avoid rusty hammers.
5. In a casserole dish or pie plate or something else shallow and bakeable, dump the drained pasta. Pour in the milk and then most of the cheese (you want a good layer of cheese on top, so don’t use all of it) and mix it up.
6. Once you’ve got it all nice and even, put the rest of the cheese on top in an even layer and then sprinkle the broken chips over the top.
7. Place in the oven for 20-30 minutes until the cheese is melty and a little brown on top.

Verdict

Sweet! (And by sweet, I mean totally awesome)

This dish came out great for me with Fontiago cheese from Trader Joe’s and those roasted red pepper chips. I also happened to use whole wheat pasta which is ordinarily pretty gross, but it seems baking it after boiling it helped. Also, it was surrounded by cheese, so that probably helped. The prep is super easy (unless you can’t cook pasta). Cleanup is a snap. It’s delicious, but too much cheese and stale chips may one day permanently clog your arteries, so beware.

I give it 4 toilet seats up! (Our rating system explained)